I have also recently observed their new premises in East Dulwich

Ostentatious, is an understatement — Think of a 6ft 7inches man in a pair of pink flared cordroy trousers with a chest as hairy as a sasquatch and wearing a medalion bigger than the gong from the Rank Organization whilst tottering down the road in a pair of white cuban heeled boots…

That’s how organically the new Foxtons in East Dulwich blends in with the rest of the street…

took their eye off the town planning ball [while counting their unrealised equity lucre]

8pm on a Friday night and there’s one guy sat in Foxton’s behind the “bar”. Not a soul to be seen anywhere else in the place. But all lights blazing away. Was he the security guard, perhaps?

Guarding the thousand foot plasma tv that was up on the wall, showing Sky News to any passers by??

Could be handy for when the cricket starts, though.

If you have to ask…

Went to East Dulwich on Friday night and was horrified. What on earth have they done. The local residents must be appalled at what’s happened to their once villagey road.

Cllr Wingfield introduced himself by greeting the assembled with “Or should I say, dearly beloved?” which alienated all the atheists right away because it is they above all who believe in fair play and not dissing the believers in their own chapel.

That executive councillor with Eurovision Song Contest haircut, who said he didn’t really know where he was, he was hilarious — he almost looked forward to being lynched, so keen he was for attention.

Councillor Peter John seemed to have turned up without his inner Paul, George and Ringo.

The most trustworthy councillor was Sandra Rhule who just said her name, so you could hear it, unlike the other mumblers.

Everyone wants the bridge rebuilt — it could take just a weekend, said the very reasonable surveyor from Network Rail — except Network Rail who “own” it.

Florian, the meeting was much more interesting than you let on. Whack. Yarroo!

Well you won’t. Gone within a year, I’d say. And good riddance.

The Castle has been dead the last two times I’ve been in there. Anyone else noticed this, or have I just been unlucky?

Nice to see The Bear picking up. Also noticed that the landlord of Hermit’s Cave is now charging admittance for high-profile footie matches. £6 in, but you get two drinks’ vouchers. I guess it’s to stop the skanks who buy a coke and sit there for two hours. Seemed to work, actually.

Went into Funky Munky a few weeks ago and was shocked to see that the demographic has changed from Camberwell art students to the 35+ mob. Where have the art students gone, then? New Cross?

I’ve had the fish & chips in the Grove and it was surprisingly delicious.

Went to the Fox on the Hill when I was on a come-down. Lovely clientele (families, geezers, Eastern Europeans, Irishmen reminiscing about Tipperary, etc.) and the cheapest pint of Heineken in London — £2.40!!!

Here endeth the Camberwell Report.

I feel better! Thank you.